I ended the semester really well this semester and am VERY proud of myself for my persistence and hard work! I pretty much did everything I wanted to do this semester—quit my job, although i slightly regret it because I’m not making an income, started private tutoring, changed my concentration/focus to music (My fourth time changing it, but TOTALLY WORTH IT!), led sg for a short period of time in life group and high school retreat, and recovered really well from fall semester! hehe. I am truly blessed and am extremely happy I have some time to just rest before summer school starts!

Summer Plans:

• DIY project!! I’ve been wanting to do this for a while, but could never find the time to do so!
• Exams (1 down, another to go!)
• Baking/cooking projects!
• Hopefully a cookie exchange (*hint hint* Alice Yoon *hint hint*) hehe.
• Care packages for my lovelies 
• Retreats
• Graduations
• Summer School
• Six Flags with LG!
• spend MORE time with God

So…I missed the freeway exit. I freaked out a little and took the 5 South towards LA when I was supposed to go 5 North back home. It’s only been my second time that I’ve missed an exit in my life while driving, so I didnt really know what to do. I just got off the next exit and it was PITCH black. No cars and one orange light. A little frightening? yes. But surprisingly my heart didnt thud out of my chest, but I did get  a little sweaty haha. I seriously didnt know where I was heading but nonetheless I got back on track while stopping in the middle of the road trying to type in my address in my gps. It was a scary, but worthwhile experience.

Sometimes, life is like that. You take wrong turns, turns that was not intended for you, but it happens, even if it was unintentional. And I feel like I’m in that position right now. I want to fear God, running towards him, not away from him. I want to feel his presence, not ignore it. I want to hear his voice but not be deaf by it. I want to see his plans and not be blinded by it. I want to seek and not hide from Him. But it happens. Wrong turns happens, it just depends how we handle that situation and come back around KNOWING that God’s waiting, even if it takes twists and turns for you to get back on the road God intended for you to be on.

It’s been a while since I wrote a post, but I feel the need to write this. But Seriously…I am so blessed. Like really. Not in a conceited way, but in a way that I’m thankful to God. About 2 weeks ago, I really felt this urgency to take a break from lg. I was really upset with the leadership and frustrated that everything was so last minute. I complained on my own and to a few others and felt that it would make no difference if I left. But these past two weeks have been amazing. I felt like both of them were teaching moments from God and to my lg girls.

So..I have this fear of leading small groups because I feel like I lack so much capability and I might not be able to say what I want to say because I’m so nervous. But seriously…these past two weeks, I was able to lead the girls into girls time. I was really scared and nervous, fearful that I might run out of words to say, but these short times with them have been really God centered. My prayer request these days is to be filled, solely by God. And my request was answered through life group girls time. I am truly so thankful that God really brought these girls into my life. Although I still struggle with getting through to some of them, it’s like God was saying the whole time, “STOP being afraid. Just DO it.”

And guess what? It took two weeks for me to understand what God was saying. If only I stopped being so uptight. Mann…seriously. God is SO good!

I was talking to this guy from one of my classes and we started talking randomly about faith, God, his purpose and he got me thinking…what’s my purpose in life? I started talking to him and started to dig deeper into learning more about who he is and where he’s been and his purpose…At first it sort of turned me off because he was talking to me as if I wasnt Christian…as if I was confused about life. Kinda rude…but the more he started talking, I started to realize…WHAT is my real purpose in life? Am I just another Korean American? Am I going to be just another woman who pursues teaching for her career and that’s it? Am I going to be just another ordinary person? Does God have extraordinary plans for me? Will he give me the desires of my heart or will he change my pursuit in life? Honestly…I dont know anymore. All I know is that before this talk, I wanted to become an elementary teacher, secretly having a BIG heart for missions and hoping that sometime in the future I’ll be teaching in missions.

The more I think about it…I want to be an EXTRAordinary person. Not just some teacher, or some Korean American, or some girl. I want to be USED for God’s kingdom and know that when I die, I can “bury my bones” in a place where my work has been done. And know that in the end, I’ll die happy, KNOWING that I’ve done all that I can in life.

(Source: iheart-photos)

I had an emotional breakdown today at work. I never have emotional breakdowns like this…but it was because I was so angry. I didnt know what to do. Tears kept flowing, I could barely breathe or even talk and my fingers couldnt stretch out. It was weird because I’ve never been so angry. Four things that really pissed me off:

1. I got blamed by a parent for something I didnt even do.

2. My co-worker/supervisor? had no professionalism in this work field in any circumstance and neither does she have any respect for me.

3. I made a mistake and she pointed me out in front of all the kids.

4. She yelled at me to “hurry”…when I was going as fast as I could.

First of all, no matter where you work, there should be a level of professionalism, meaning that if someone under you makes a mistake, you dont scold them. It might get frustrating, but you are there to teach them, not to make a fool out of them.

Two, in a level of having professionalism, it also comes with respect. No matter who may be under you, you still respect them. You dont have it, you become so full of it and things will come around and hit you on the behind.

Three: You treat any kid like that…by scolding them, you just make them hate you even more than they already do. You teach, not yell.

Four: You make a mistake, you admit and move on. If you still think you’re right, you pull that person aside and tell them we’ll talk later and explain later.

My boss was really understanding though. I’m so very grateful…like really. Without him, I probably would’ve just quit.

Traders

I’ve been putting my posts on private, so I thought it’d be good to write about retreat! It was great in terms of my relationship with the girls at retreat. Leading small group last minute was one of the many blessings! I felt like I lacked so much as a leader and didnt know if I’d be ready, but it was another BAM moment! One of the verses the girls had to memorize for the scavenger hunt was Romans 12 and it was another wave of realizing while I was leading one of the stations.

³ For by the grace given me I say to every one of you: Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the faith God has distributed to each of you. ⁴ For just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, ⁵ so in Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. ⁶ We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. If your gift is prophesying, then prophesy in accordance with yourfaith; ⁷ if it is serving, then serve; if it is teaching, then teach; ⁸ if it is to encourage, then give encouragement; if it is giving, then give generously; if it is to lead, do it diligently; if it is to show mercy, do it cheerfully.

Is God good or WHUT? That’s WHUTS UP! HOLLA~

‘lette macarons were legit. (Taken with instagram)